


Don't Put Flowers on my Grave

by ShadeSpeaks



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: A little bit of blood, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Descriptions of chest pain, Hanahaki Disease, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 22:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeSpeaks/pseuds/ShadeSpeaks
Summary: Kiyotaka Ishimaru starts coughing up flower petals and realizes that he has Hanahaki Disease. He is in love with his best friend and classmate Mondo Oowada. Believing that Mondo will never love him back, Kiyotaka resolves to keep his condition a secret in an attempt to save their friendship.





	Don't Put Flowers on my Grave

It started simply. 

A mere itch in the back of his throat. Kiyotaka simply cleared his throat and returned to studying.

The itch became more and more persistent as days passed until Kiyotaka found himself continually distracted by it. He was sitting in class trying desperately to focus on the lecture and take decent notes but the feeling in his throat made his eyes water.   
Trying not to draw attention to himself and distract the other students who should be learning, he raised a hand to mouth and let out a small cough. Surprisingly, he felt something solid hit his hand. Looking into it, Ishimaru’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of a perfect, pure red flower petal. 

Quickly closing his fist around the offending object, Kiyotaka did something he had never done before. He quickly and quietly left while class was in session. 

Breath quickly becoming ragged, the boy walked as quickly as he could without it being considered running (he was still a hall monitor, you know) towards the nearest restroom. With blurry vision, he flung the door open with more force than was really necessary. 

Thankfully the bathroom was empty. Now fully sprinting, he slammed a stall door open before rushing inside and locking it.   
Safe from being seen by any teachers or other students, he opened his shaking fist.   
Though now somewhat crumpled, it was still a rose petal. That he had just coughed up. 

And Kiyotaka knew why.   
This was Hanahaki Disease.  
Kiyotaka also knew who it was for.  
He was in love with his best friend, Mondo Oowada.

Tears flowing freely at the revelation, Taka brought the petal to his chest and sunk to the floor. What on earth was he going to do now? What could he do?

It took longer than he would have liked, but by the time Ishimaru looked presentable again and had gotten back to the classroom, all of his classmates had already left.   
Well, almost all of his classmates. 

The last person Ishimaru wanted to see right now was standing outside of the room, holding Taka’s things.   
“Hey, bro! Are you alright? Don’t think I’ve ever seen ya leave class before! I got yer stuff and Chihiro and Leon went ahead to get us a table in the cafeteria.”  
The taller boy looked down at him expectantly, a rare look of concern on his face.  
Kiyotaka made his decision immediately. He was not going to ruin his first friendship like this. Flowers be damned.   
Kiyotaka did something else he had never done before. He lied to Mondo.   
“Ah, brother! I am alright—nothing to worry yourself over!”

However, the illness did not care about his decision or whether it was noble or foolish. The coughing only got worse and worse as the weeks went by.   
“Now, Makoto, if you just follow this formula then you should reach the correct answer!”  
Ishimaru was tutoring Makoto who had been struggling in their shared mathematics course.   
“Ah…okay.” Makoto still looked so unsure.   
“Do not worry! I will watch you complete the problem and guide you if you go astray!”  
Naegi gave a small smile and started the complicated math problem. 

Oh dear. The now familiar burning in Kiyotaka’s throat once again brought tears to his eyes. He couldn’t leave now. He’d just told Makoto he’d help him with the problem.   
Covering his mouth with both hands, Taka turned his back to the other boy and coughed loudly. Several petals stuck to his palm, slick with saliva.   
“Ta–Taka, are you alright?”  
Ishimaru turned back to the other. Makoto’s face was so full of worry, it almost made him tear up again at the sight.   
“All is well, my friend! Just—“ Taka glanced away for a moment. “Something in my throat. That’s all.”  
He slipped the blood red petals into the pocket farthest from Makoto. His sleight of hand had improved with how many petals he had coughed up over the weeks but the lying did not get any easier. Lying to his friends made his chest feel like it was being crushed.   
He desperately wanted to steer away from this topic.  
“Let me see how you’re doing on that problem, yes?”

He was so very tired afterwards. A study or tutoring session usually made The Ultimate Moral Compass feel invigorated but after nearly having his secret found out, he just wanted to rest. He’d walked back to his dorm room and unlocked it with shaking hands before slipping inside. Closing the door, it occurred to him that he had never been more thankful that Makoto’s room was so close to his own. 

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the three petals. No matter how much it made his chest ache, he couldn’t help but stare at the petals he’d coughed up every time it happened. He had looked up the symbolic meaning of red roses after he’d realized what they were. 

Red roses are a traditional symbol of romantic love. They stand for passion, longing, desire, respect, devotion…and sorrow. They fit him perfectly. How disgustingly cliché. He couldn’t stand the sight of them yet here he was holding them in his hands while crying and shaking like a child. 

He had never loved anyone like he loved Mondo. There was no one else whose company he longed for more. No one whose touch he desired the way he desired Mondo’s. There was no one else he respected more. No one else he was devoted to in the same way. 

But…Mondo would never love him back. This love Kiyotaka tried so desperately to hide would never be requited, his feelings never returned. The friendship between the gang leader and himself was already so unlikely. He couldn’t ask for more; He didn’t dare hope for more. This friendship he cherished with his entire being, his first and strongest friendship could crumble if he told Mondo how he felt. 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru would rather die than let that happen. 

So he assured his classmates that his occasional cough was really nothing to worry about and hid flower petals in his pockets to keep his friendship alive. He didn’t want to think about what would happen when the disease progressed farther and he couldn’t hide it anymore. 

Walking on shaky legs to his bedside desk, Ishimaru opened the drawer to reveal a glass jar nearly full of rose petals. He dropped the last few petals inside where they wouldn’t be seen by anyone else. He didn’t want to risk anyone asking questions about flowers in the trash and he couldn’t bear to throw them away anyway.

There was a knock at his door. Kiyotaka wiped his wet eyes with his sleeves and let out a big breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He closed the drawer and prayed he looked presentable as he went to open the door. 

“Mondo! It’s good to see you, brother!”

Ishimaru smiled as he saw the other. Mondo didn’t look worried so Kiyotaka must look alright. He kept smiling even as his chest started to ache once more. 

“Bro! You wanna…uh…ya wanna see somethin’ I added to my bike?”

After that meeting with Mondo, the aching was constant. Before he didn’t think it was possible to think about his illness and his crush more but now he was aware of the pain every single second. He couldn’t let this effect his schoolwork. Even though his friendship with Mondo had helped him see that there was more to life than school, his studies were always one of his highest priorities. He was spending more time than ever doing homework and studying because he struggled to pay attention in class or focus on homework when the crushing pain stole his attention or reminded him of Mondo. The dark rings under his eyes made his classmates worry and he was sure that his lack of sleep wasn’t helping his condition but Kiyotaka just couldn’t come clean. Not yet. What if Mondo never wanted to see him again? That would absolutely destroy him. 

He was poring over a textbook on talent in his room when a message was played over the intercom. The 78th class was to meet in the gymnasium for an announcement immediately. If Kiyotaka felt well enough to give this any thought, he would have wondered if it was about the upcoming practical exams that tested the student’s Ultimate talents each year. As things were, he got up from his studying without much thought other than how terribly tired he was and how much his chest hurt. 

He got up immediately to start the actually-not-that-long-but-it-feels-like-forever trip to gym. He silently thanked whatever deity or spirit that was looking out for him that no one passed by when he had to stop and catch his breath halfway there. Finally getting into the gym on unsteady legs, he looked around. He was neither one of the first to arrive nor one of the last.

Mondo, who was surprisingly not late for once in his life, came through the double doors a few seconds later to stand next to Kiyotaka. 

He stood close to black-haired boy as he had gotten into the habit of doing recently. Kiyotaka wondered how bad he must look now and how much time he had left before he ran out of time to make a decision. 

The last of the students filed in but still no teacher. Odd, Hope’s Peak Academy’s faculty were usually on time. 

That’s when it happened. 

The horrible and horribly familiar feeling in Taka’s throat. 

Covering his mouth, he began to cough. His throat burned and he was vaguely aware of tears starting to run down his face. He coughed louder and cried more—the petals would not come up. 

The blurry shape of Mondo entered his vision. A resounding thump on his back echoed in the room. Mondo had slapped him on the back many times before but in his weakened state, it brought the prefect to his hands and knees. 

It worked though. The petals finally dislodged from his throat. No, those weren’t petals. Staring back at Kiyotaka was a perfect full rose bloom, glistening with blood in the harsh fluorescent lights. 

No, no, no, no, no. Taka realized with a rising sense of terror that the gym was completely silent. Every student was looking at him with varying levels of horror. They knew. He was going to sick again, he—lost all energy to care as he collapsed face first onto the floor. 

He felt strong arms turn him over and then he was looking up at Mondo. Mondo was holding him. At another time and place this would be exactly what Kiyotaka wanted but now he realized that he was a coward. He had waited too long and now he might die because he wasn’t brave enough to tell his crush that—

“Taka! Jesus fuckin’ Christ! What the hell! TAKA!”  
The last word was punctuated by a gentle shake and the image of the biker was no longer blurry. Kiyotaka, with blood still dripping from his mouth and staining his perfectly white uniform, apologized. 

“I’m…sorry, Mondo. I was afraid,” Gaining back a bit of strength, he swallowed the remaining blood that coated his tongue. “I’m so sorry, I should have told you. I…I think I’m in love with you…I guess it’s too late now, huh?” He barely got out a low pathetic laugh at how painfully obvious that was now and Mondo was yelling again. 

“The fuck are you apologizin’ for? I’m the one who should be sorry! I’m the one who shoulda told YOU!”  
Both boys had tear-stained faces now. “I didn’t know this was why you were lookin’ so bad! I shoulda been a man and told ya! I–i,” Kiyotaka didn’t think he’d ever heard Mondo stutter before.   
“I came by your room to tell ya and I chickened out! I’ve been coughing up purple petals for weeks!”

The world stopped. Kiyotaka couldn’t process anything except what he just heard.

A few purple petals fell from Oowada’s lips then. The biker caught one and held it in his open palm up to Ishimaru’s face.   
“See? It’s a gladiolus! It means strength and moral integrity! Passion ‘n shit! I looked it up, I figured you’d wanna know when I finally got the balls to tell ya!”

Taka smiled a completely genuine smile for the first time in weeks as Mondo scanned his face. 

“You know what this means, right? It’s gonna be okay now! You’re gonna be okay!”

“I love you, Mondo.” Taka repeated. He could say it out loud now. They were going to be alright. Mondo didn’t hate him. 

It was Mondo’s turn to smile. “I love you too, Taka.”

“Let’s get you to the nurse’s office, okay? We’ll get you good as new.”  
Mondo slowly got to his feet, bringing Kiyotaka up with him. 

Everything really was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! <3
> 
> Ishimondo is my favorite pairing so I had a lot of fun writing this.
> 
> You can fuel my creativity with kudos and comments!


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